


See Me

by moonrainer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders era, Original Order of the Phoenix - Freeform, first wizarding war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 13:04:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18550333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonrainer/pseuds/moonrainer
Summary: After treating his hand injury, Marlene McKinnon has to deal with a drunk Sirius Black and the emotional turmoil he causes within her.





	See Me

**Author's Note:**

> A/N All the characters and places you recognise here are based on J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. The story below, however, is entirely my own.

"But it _hurts_!" Sirius protested.

"Yes, you've told me," Dorcas retorted, unnerved. "And I've told you that you've got to wait for Marlene. I'm not going to be responsible for making this worse!"

Sirius let his head crash onto the table in front of him and groaned loudly. He could be quite fun, Dorcas thought, eyeing him with annoyance, but at times he also had a trick of getting up her nose.

"It's all your own fault, anyway, tampering with this damn motorbike like that!" she shot at him. "Where'd you even get the idea to try and get a thing like that to fly?"

Lifting his head again, a grin flashed over Sirius's pained face. "Don't tell me you don't think it's smashing!"

Dorcas shook her head. She could tell that he was in pain, not only by his exaggerated moaning, but also by the way his left eyebrow twitched a little whenever he spoke to her. Suddenly, she felt bad for him. The accident had happened over an hour ago, and Marlene was still nowhere to be seen. (Considering that things were especially crazy at St. Mungo's recently, Dorcas was not surprised that she worked overtime.) Most people from the Order were on missions, and the only ones who found themselves at headquarters at present – Dorcas included – were not qualified enough to treat magical injuries like Sirius's properly.

"Look," she said finally, "Why don't you have a drink? That should ease the pain at least a bit."

Sirius nodded and put his head on the table again. His hand _did_ look pretty bad, Dorcas had to admit. The turquoise throbbing worried her, but instead of making her concern known, she simply said as nonchalantly as possible: "Alright then, let me just fetch some firewhiskey from downstairs. And no funny business while I'm gone! I don't think I can handle you with any more injuries."

* * *

 

When Marlene returned from her very busy shift at St. Mungo's, Sirius was drunk. The moment she stepped through the front door she already heard his voice booming from one of the rooms upstairs. _Oh well_ , she thought to herself, _good thing that it won't be me who'll have to deal with him tonight_. She was so tired that she doubted that even a horde of wild pixies turning the house upside down could stop her from falling asleep immediately, let alone an intoxicated, unconstrained, loud, …

"Oh, finally!" Dorcas appeared at the top of the stairs. "I thought I heard someone come in!"

Marlene rubbed her eyes and yawned. "Hi, Dee. Good to see you. Sorry, but I'm shattered, I really have to-"

"No!" Dorcas interrupted her brusquely. Marlene was alarmed by her friend's unexpected harsh tone. "Sorry, Marls, but you've got to help me out, right now! It's serious … literally."

"Oh no, please don't tell me-"

"MCKINNON? 'S THAT YOU?" Sirius bellowed. "COME ON UP, I _NEED_ YOU!" He giggled, which was a peculiar sound.

"I've made a grave mistake," Dorcas confessed with a deep crease on her forehead, taking Marlene's hand and leading her up the stairs. "I've created a monster and it's a pain in the arse. Nevertheless, you'll have to fix his hand, because I think it might explode if you don't."

* * *

 

It took Marlene less than a minute to heal Sirius's injury. It required a couple of mending spells, a reduction jinx, a decontamination hex and a tiny bone correction charm. Nothing major for Marlene, but she could see why Dorcas hadn't been confident enough to try and treat the injury herself. After all, she was training in the Ministry, where no such spells were used on a day-to-day basis. The weird colour of Sirius's hand had probably also put her off, for which Marlene didn't blame her. It had taken her quite a while to get used to the look of magically distorted skin herself.

"Good job, Marlene! Thanks for saving the night," Dorcas said relieved, patting her on the back. "I don't think I could have handled his whining any longer." They both looked at Sirius, who had been jinxed into a temporary coma by Marlene so that she could perform her spells in peace. He looked peaceful and was almost drooling on the table.

"I know you meant well, but next time you should probably just knock him out instead of getting him drunk," Marlene laughed.

"Yes," Dorcas chuckled, "I guess that would be fun. Paying him back for all the times he played pranks on me, one punch at a time."

Marlene shook her head. "You're not that innocent. As far as I remember, you two were almost competing against each other. There were times when you spent more time in detention with him than in the common room with me!"

"Ah," Dorcas sighed. "You're making me nostalgic… But oh Merlin," she exclaimed after looking at the big grandfather's clock in the corner of the room, "I should be getting to bed. I've got a shift to cover in a couple of hours…" She eyed Marlene with a guilty but equally pleading expression.

Marlene let out a sigh, but smiled. "Don't worry, I'll last a couple more minutes until he wakes up. You should go and get some sleep. Mad-Eye will not be pleased in you fall off your broom during your mission."

Dorcas beamed and hugged her friend. "Thanks, Marls, you're the best! See you tomorrow!" When Marlene blinked, Dorcas was already out the door.

Sighing again, she turned around. That would make another half hour or so before she could hit the hay… But somehow, she felt more alert than a couple of minutes ago. Was that because she was alone in the room with _him_?

She sat down next to Sirius, letting her eyes wander over the features that she had come to know so well over the past years. His beauty had never struck her as odd. Alongside his self-confidence and ready-wit, it had always been one of the key attributes defining him. For as long as she could remember, he had looked perfect to her. Perfect, but unattainable.

She had to restrain herself so that she wouldn't tuck a loose strand of black hair behind his ear. Why was she even thinking about him like that? Deep down she knew it was never going to happen, and that she should just move on already. Frustrated, she buried her face in her hands. Why couldn't she do that?

They weren't even proper friends, just acquaintances who happened to be around each other a lot due to being part of the Order. He probably wouldn't even know her if it wasn't for Dorcas and Lily. And who was she, anyway? An ordinary, rather mousy girl certainly not interesting enough for someone like-

A grunt interrupted her musings. When she looked up, Sirius was examining his hand sleepily.

"It's as good as new," Marlene assured him. Startled, he spun around, as if he had forgotten that she was there. _Ha, how appropriate_ , she thought bitterly.

"McKinnon. You still here?"

"Did you really think I'd just leave you to your own devices after putting you in a coma? Besides, considering what you did to your hand, apparently you can't be trusted with your own safety. And then there's the fact that you're drunk." She tried to sound as sanguine as possible, as if he hadn't just interrupted her thinking about her unrequited feelings for him.

"Drunk? Who're you callin' drunk?" he asked with fake incredulity, swaying a little. "I'm as sober as a phoenix on a fine Monday morning!" He rested his right elbow on the table and it promptly slipped off.

"Right, I can see that," Marlene laughed, genuine this time.

"And who's tellin' me that you didn't bewitch me, McKinnon?" He raised both eyebrows and looked rather comical.

"Believe me, I have better things to do after work."

"Oh really? Got other men to spend time with, don't you?" Sirius winked at her.

She looked down, blushing. "Don't be ridiculous," she said shyly, unable to keep the discomfort out of her voice.

The silence that ensued weighed heavily on her shoulders. When she couldn't bear it anymore, she glanced up at him again, and found that Sirius's eyes were resting on her.

"Really, McKinnon, I've gotta say that sometimes you're just sooo oblivious to how you look," he stated, exaggeratedly shaking his head. "Most of the time, really," he added.

This took Marlene by surprise and immediately made her feel both hurt and ashamed. Never before had Sirius insulted her like this.

But it wasn't like it was her fault. She was born this way; she couldn't change that her tummy was never quite flat, that her ears were a little too big, and that her hair was always a bit frizzy. Besides, it had been a long day at work, so she probably looked very exhausted and considerably older than she actually was.

Dumbstruck, she tried to come up with a witty retort, but she failed miserably.

"I take good care of my appearance, thank you very much!" She willed her face to look neutral so that he wouldn't see the pain he'd caused her. He had been teasing her lightly before, but that was the first time he'd really gotten to her. Confused, crestfallen, and unable to think of anything else to respond, she looked intently at the collection of bottles assembled on the table. Dorcas must have been rummaging the house for any leftover spirits. Mixing all those different liquors was probably what got him intoxicated.

"No, silly!" His laugh made her heart jump inappropriately. Carefully emphasising every part of the sentence to give his statement more meaning, he announced: "I meant that you're damn pretty and you don't realise it."

Oh. Marlene hadn't expected this, either. "Right…" Baffled and unsure about what to say, she got up. Where was this going? She had no clue, and that made her slightly anxious. Also, she was too tired to deal with this mess of feelings and with him in general. She couldn't trust herself. It was better to leave now before anything went wrong. But before she could move towards the door, Sirius grabbed her arm.

"Hey, don't you believe me?" he asked, playfully offended.

"Will you please let go of me?" Marlene pressed, trying to pull away. She was so embarrassed that her head was probably as red as the crimson Gryffindor jumper she was wearing. She just wanted to go; this whole situation was creating a level of discomfort that she could not handle. However, Sirius did not move and continued staring at her, his grip slowly tightening. Marlene's heartbeat quickened, and even more blood rushed to her face. No. No! She was NOT having this.

At once, she twisted, grabbed his neck with her free hand and firmly pushed his head onto the table. He let out a pain-stricken groan and let go of her immediately. "Ouch!"

Shocked, she pulled herself back, shivering a little. Overreaction. Remorse hit her; she hadn't wanted to hurt him. He was just a drunk fool who didn't mean her any harm. Just Sirius. Merlin, her exhaustion was getting the better of her. The stress of the recent weeks was really taking its toll on her. Everything seemed so uncertain and confusing and weird. Drunk Sirius was not making it any better.

Before she could apologise, he smirked. "Damn, I thought you were a healer."

"Doesn't mean I don't fight," she replied, slightly awkward. "Sorry," she added sheepishly, lowering her eyes.

He rubbed his neck, still smiling. "You've always been a tough one, McKinnon, I grant you that."

"And you've always been annoying!" she shot back, unable to accept his second compliment of the night _. He didn't really mean that, nothing of what he said_ , she told herself. _He's not thinking straight._

"Come on, can't you do better than that? Gimme your worst! I wanna see your dark side!" he taunted, slurring his words a little.

Marlene tensed up. What was he doing? Did all of that mean something, or was her tired mind playing tricks on her? She decided to make herself clear.

"What's this about, huh?" She tried to sound as resolute and confident as possible.

"What's _what_ about? Life?" He flung his hands up into the air. "Who the hell knows?"

"No," she said, getting annoyed at him. Was he purposely misunderstanding her? Was this just another one of his games? "You saying all these things. Why?"

Sirius laughed. "Ha! What do I know? I'm drunk!" He twirled his index finger near his temple.

Marlene frowned impatiently. "Never giving straightforward answers, are you?"

"Where'd be the fun in that?"

Frustrated, she grabbed her bag and cloak from the table. "You know what? I don't want to deal with you right now. You're difficult enough when you're sober." She flung her bag over her shoulder and turned to face him. He looked slightly disheartened. "I'll see you again when you've detoxed."

She was almost at the door when his voice sent a shiver down her spine. "Hey. Marlene." He never called her by her first name. She looked back at him, angry, even more confused, a bit ashamed, and still very much infatuated. _No, I don't want to hear anything! You're just messing with my feelings and you don't even seem to realise!_ she wanted to shout, but instead she just bit her lip. Damn.

"Thanks," he said, earnestly. "I'm lucky you were around to fix me." He smiled at her, and her heart caught fire. She fought to keep composed. To him, she was just an ally who he'd tried to joke with. He didn't even have the slightest idea of what having his undivided attention did to her.

And suddenly, a realisation hit her. None of this was his fault. He didn't willingly make her love him. He didn't choose not to see her, not to feel for her what she felt for him. He was just being himself, completely unaware of her real emotions. Right then, everything inside her went silent for a moment. And all of a sudden she knew what she had to do.

She crossed the room with a few strides, cupped his face with her hands and kissed him. Determinedly. Honestly. Unapologetically.

Marlene had often imagined what kissing Sirius would be like, but she had never thought that she would find herself in such a strange situation, taking a leap like this, the taste of firewhiskey on her lips. He didn't kiss her back, but he didn't pull away either. She couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling, only that he was there and she was there with him, finally making herself known. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but to Marlene it felt like the world.

She didn't look at him when she broke away. Without another word, she turned around and left the room quietly. She only noticed right before she fell asleep that night that this had been the very first time she had witnessed Sirius Black speechless.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N Thank you very much for reading! I'm glad you got this far! :)  
> I had the idea for this story about a year ago when I first started writing fanfics, but I only got around to finishing it now. (I only ever seem to write during summer break, oh dear...) Usually, I write self-contained one-shots the length of your average short story, but I feel like I could develop this fic further and explore the relationship between Sirius and Marlene more, in a follow-up maybe. Let me know if you'd want to read that (if you like). As always, opinions are very much appreciated!


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